I guess you could say that this week, we've all had a lot on our minds. Well, hopefully NOT LITERALLY. Both my mom and I are going in for back-to-back brain MRIs. As if blondes don't face enough adversity when it comes to how our brains work, lets throw a couple of tumors into the mix. I was in third grade when they found a meningioma the size of a lemon pressing against my mom's brain. Meningiomas are a type of benign tumor and hers was so large that it began causing seizures. I can remember it all so vividly, even to this day. I was at a close friend's house having a playdate when one of my mom's friends came to pick me up and bring me to the hospital. It was one of the scariest times in my entire life. I may have been young, but I knew what was going on. You hear that your mom - the person who you rely on for just about everything and who surprises you with French toast for dinner (your favorite ritual in the entire world) - is going to have her skull sawed open, nervous doesn't even begin to describe it. What would my sister and I have done without her? I was terrified that I was going to lose her then, but within just a few days she was home and right back to taking care of us. After some routine yearly testing, they're afraid that this time it is back, in which case they will have to remove it. Let's hope there are no tumors to be found.
Just days after finding out that three of my tumors had vanished completely, I began experiencing headaches again. Those few moments of relief were nice while they lasted. The doctors have explained that the PET scans allow them to check the organs and the areas were larger tumors could be, but with the amount of blood the is constantly going through the brain, an MRI is necessary to get a look at what's going on. They were planning on waiting until October to check the progress of the SRS procedure to see if the tiny tumor on my occipital lobe went away, but because of the headaches they want to see what's going on as soon as possible. You don't panic much, not until everyone around you starts to. You tell yourself that it's probably stress or sinus-related, grasping onto any explanation that doesn't involve it being cancer. You keep yourself preoccupied and know that you can't live every day in fear, but at the point (still undergoing treatment) it's not over yet. The other times I've felt something was off, it's because it was. Right now, the hope is to become tumor-free for five years, because that's when you're declared "cured." Even after that time passes, it will be something that is stuck with me forever and will have to continue monitoring for the rest of my life.
Just days after finding out that three of my tumors had vanished completely, I began experiencing headaches again. Those few moments of relief were nice while they lasted. The doctors have explained that the PET scans allow them to check the organs and the areas were larger tumors could be, but with the amount of blood the is constantly going through the brain, an MRI is necessary to get a look at what's going on. They were planning on waiting until October to check the progress of the SRS procedure to see if the tiny tumor on my occipital lobe went away, but because of the headaches they want to see what's going on as soon as possible. You don't panic much, not until everyone around you starts to. You tell yourself that it's probably stress or sinus-related, grasping onto any explanation that doesn't involve it being cancer. You keep yourself preoccupied and know that you can't live every day in fear, but at the point (still undergoing treatment) it's not over yet. The other times I've felt something was off, it's because it was. Right now, the hope is to become tumor-free for five years, because that's when you're declared "cured." Even after that time passes, it will be something that is stuck with me forever and will have to continue monitoring for the rest of my life.